Making a Professional Pivot

Back in September, a month after being laid off from my day job I reflected on how much the job market has changed and how I was trying to stay positive and look forward, noting that everything will shake out the way it's meant to. You can read that post here if you're curious. That was the last post I made on this website and a lot has changed in the last three months. So a little update.

I struggled with even getting offers to interview, even though my rate of response was nearly double the average right now. I'd widdled down 173 applications down to just a handful of interviews, and zero offers. At the end of November, just before the holidays, after 8 interviews for the same position I received a call letting me know that they'd decided to dissolve the position I was applying for. That ended up being the last straw for me. I stopped believing that my experience and nearly 20 years in the industry counted for much and that companies weren't interested in hiring me for my expertise, but wanted a person that was, on paper, in possession of an Ivy League degree or was younger. While I can't prove any of that, as you can imagine I took a mental and emotional hit.

Fast forward a couple of weeks later having talked through my goals, made list over list over list of things I like or dislike to map out my future or at least find a common thread between what I enjoy, what energizes me, and what I can make work in this capitalist society. While I'm still doing freelance dev work, that didn't end up being the thing that I could see myself doing long-term, at least not in its current form.

I love learning. Learning new things, or being taught new things specifically, along with the challenge of applying those new concepts is the way I work best and feel the most driven or fulfilled in the work that I do. The current job market, despite emphasizing a "learning environment" didn't seem to be a focus for most people. While I understand that companies want to hire people that add immediate value, I don't think they're thinking in the long term of any employees--this is is going to be growth and an increased value proposition. The current reality is more about what we need for the now. That to me says a lot about the current state of tech. My goal as an engineer is to learn from smart people and grow, but that just isn't in the cards presently. Maybe in the future.

So, if not dev, what? That's a good question. I've always loved art, photography, creative expression, and visual impact, but these are also things that hit the backburner any time I have a full-time job. I used to think that if I loved doing something I'd find time for it, but the reality ended up being that working in tech was so demanding that after my 9-5 my 5-9 was mostly spent reenergizing for the next day. Without energy, I wanted to do little else. Even with the first two and a half months of my job search, I used all of my energy day to day. So I decided to get back into art.

Now, what that looks like, I don't know. I had a lot of ideas, but they were all focused on how I could monetize things, make a living, etc. That's not the reason you do art, that's the result of hard work and dedication. For now, I just plan on re-learning everything I might have lost in the last decade and improving as I go. I'll be posting my work on Instragram or Cara as I go.

I'd love it if you'd follow me on my journey toward a career in the arts.